Today should mark the begining of my maternity leave.
Monday, December 15th was my due date and since I have type 2 diabetes odds were not in my favor that they would let me go into labor on any date past that point.
Today I should have walked into my office for the last time until February. My belly should be swollen beyond what is considered humanly possible. I should be maneuvering the small space between the edge of my desk and the filing cabinet as I make my way to my chair. Lunch would have been had with the two people whom I enjoy sparring with-W would have advised a completely natural child birth with only herbs and a stick to bite for pain relief. G-would have rolled her eyes and laughed as I said HELL NO, knock me out with a bat and wake me up when Aaron is 21. No wait, make that 40. By then he would be married, and I would hopefully have grand kids. Yes, this should have been the day that began my maternity leave.
Instead on this snow covered day I am at home, but not for that reason. I am at home because its a Friday and that is my day off from work. Instead of folding little baby clothes and packing our bag for the hospital I will be cleaning out the kitty litter box, and mopping the kitchen floor. Instead of counting diapers to make sure we have enough I will be counting tampons just in case AF shows up. Instead of enjoying my last baby free weekend by going out with my hubby for one last romantic dinner I will be braving the malls and stores with my sister as we shop for Christmaswares.
Time has flown. I remember my surgery that led us to this miracle pregnancy, at my post op Dr. T handed me my pictures of my laparascopy and said “Next we will ad photos of your baby’s first ultrasound” When 8 weeks later the stick(s) all turned positive December seemed like a life time away. 9 months is a long time to wait for something that took ten years to be the one who would be born. Yet now its here, and my heart and my arms are empty. Boy how time flys…
UPDATED: Now my period is starting. HTF am I going to get through this weekend now?