According to the directions on the bottle I should be starting my provera today. For the next 10 days I am to add this little white pill to the collection that I take daily, but the amber colored container is to remain capped. Despite Jacob’s current state of the unknown, and his request that we not talk about procreation matters until January we allowed a brief discussion to cross our lips.
See, since I am totally disorganized when it comes to blocks on the calender I knew I wouldn’t be able to wake up on a Saturday, Sunday or Monday and realize without help that its cycle day 16 so I utilized FF. Every day I logged into the program and dutifully marked that I had taken my Metformin. There was no checking of the cervix, no checking of mucus, and certainly no sucking on the cold end of a thermometer every morning when I rose for the day. That did not mean how ever that I didn’t do a little speculative research.
As it turns out, in the cycles in which I have ovulated I haven’t done so until cycle day 21 or cycle day 23. Long after i would have begun my provera. Now I know I know I have professed my enjoyment of my break, and my resignation that I will be waiting until January to actively try to conceive. Don’t worry I haven’t become a turn coat. That is still very much the active case. We are not ACTIVELY pursuing a pregnancy HOWEVER at the same time we do not wish to jeapordize ANY chance regardless of how slim it may be at obtaining one IF possible. Thus if I were going to ovulate on my own at any time during the next three months and I started provera on CD 16 I run an increased risk of taking that chance away.
When I explained this to Jacob he agreed. We do not want to risk a miscarriage even though Rebecca tells me there is no chance. Further we don’t want to risk not ovulating if I can. So we decided I would only take the provera on an as needed basis. Typically it is very obvious if I do not ovulate. Come those same days, cycle day 21 or 23 I begin to spot and bleed in the dysfunctional fashion. If I do ovulate then a real AF comes about 12 days later giving me a 35 day cycle which isn’t a Greek tragedy to not have a 28 day cycle. So that is the plan as it stands on cycle day 16.
Now between you and me, and God because believe me I have been praying “hear my prayer” If I were to ovulate and would happen to become pregnant I woudln’t complain. My only criteria is that this little one sticks around long enough for me to be able to get off that ride we talked about the other day smiling…and yes even then I know I will be hypocrite because just like all the other times I will join the ranks of Mommy talk, and will have left behind that of infertile Myrtle.
But again, we are only on cycle day 16 and have many more to go…