As soon as I hit publish on this post I will be going to the kitchen and downing my first of 91 Seasonique pills. I thought that there may be some bitter sweet emotions that accompanied this, but there aren’t. There are no feelings of resignation either. Rather, its just something else to add to the morning routine. 1 Vitamin, 1 Metformin and 1 birth control pill please. Yes a well balanced start to the day.
Currently the plan is this. My last pill will be December 13th, with AF arriving on or around my due date of December 15th. At that time if my blood pressure is in check, and I am mentally feeling better about the miscarriages and am mentally ready to tackle trying again then we will. If my blood pressure is still high, or I am still in duldrums then we refill my script and we then shoot for March or April.
But what about your bike plans? Well those are still the plans. I don’t see any reason why I can’t have both. I believe this is what has lead to much of my past dismay. My life has been so focused on one end game–a baby, that I have forgotten that I can have both. There is no reason why I can’t ride a bike or a touring scooter and still be the woman who is trying to get pregnant. There is no reason why if I get pregnant that I can’t ride the bike to the grocery store 1 mile up the road. There is no reason why if I actually give birth why I can’t pull the bike out of moth balls and drive it every now and again.
There is a glass sitting on a table. Its liquid reaches the midway point. I have two options…the glass is either half empty. Or the glass is perpetually half full. The later is how I want to look at life. I may not always get topped off, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have enough to sustain me.