AF arrived this morning at 16 dpo. Thus I have experienced the LONGEST LP in my menstruating history. My longest cycle ever was 52 days, but that was annovulatory so this one wins hands down. My best guess is we may have had a chemical with the lightly positive test on Friday. After all this is how IVF fails, you obviously have conception but no implantation.
Jacob and I talked last night. Once again he told me he doesn’t have the biological craving or need to have a child like I do. Once again he asked for an end game. Either we are done and I need to face being done. Or we jump back into the frey with both feet, but we have to accept IUI is as far as we financially can go. This is something I need to accept. If we stay with Dr. T, who was brilliant at getting me pregnant again he will do 7 IUI’s before moving you to IVF. Jacob suggested 4, cut it down the middle. That would give us 6 total ovulatory cycles–which at that point if we aren’t pregnant again its just not going to happen.
Right now, not being in a 2ww, or suffering the beginings of PMS say GREAT IDEA! I can live with that. 4 attempts makes perfect logical sense. However what will happen if by try 4 I am not pregnant, and I want to try 5, 6 and 7? I suppose we cross that bridge when we get to it. At any rate I am keeping my appointment with Rebecca for the 4th of September. This time I have it scheduled early enough in the day that I can actually go. I am still going to ask for the Seasonique script. I still believe that a 3 month break, a REAL break is what I need. Then when we are ready…when we are BOTH ready to try…not obsess we know what we will have to do.
Either way, I am not going to dwell. I have to pack for vacation!