Ok so here is what happened. On Saturday I ovulated. So I immediately ran to Wal-Mart. You know I wanted to get one of those tests they advertise on television. The ones that will tell you that you are pregnant at the moment of conception. Well I couldn’t find one. Damn First Response ads. So I had a sit in. “Hell no I won’t go” was chanted over and over again until the manager of the Family Planning section had me forcefully removed by a member of the GOP party. He only agreed to release me when I told him I too was a card carrying member. What I failed to tell him was that I don’t plan to vote that way this November…SHH don’t tell. The store room where they housed me was dark and creepy.
Once I had my get of jail free card I immediately passed go and collected $200. I then headed to the lab where I demanded that I be drained of my blood. The only problem was that Dracula and the Vampire Lestsat were holding a conference in the exam rooms so the wait was to tedious. What to do I pondered? Ah yes, I would call my niece AKA Nostradomus. Surely SHE could tell me if I really laid the golden egg, and if indeed Jacob’s “little soldiers” (thats an image I will never get out of my head–thank you MIL) got to a polinating. She however was out playing Golf like all good doctors do on Wednesdays. Only problem was it was Saturday.
Then I called my insurance company and they told me even if she had taken the call that she is considered an out of network provider. Something about not taking the word of a 4 year old soothsayer. Go figure. They will pay for Vigra, but not Sara.
In all seriousness, its been busy. On Saturday Jacob and I went shopping and to see the Dark Night. We went out with the intent to buy some new underroos, and some new threads for our vacation. Well that 3 hour tour turned into a 6 1/2 hour one by the time we got home. By then all I wanted to do was collapse on the sofa, and of course blog about cervical mucus. Hey don’t judge me. You secretly know you play with it too!
Sunday we went to the in-laws. We had a nice time. I “hung” with my mother in law which scared the pants off Jacob. Ussually I follow him around like a lost puppy for fear of actually being left alone with that woman. In reality I really enjoyed our time together. We talked about how her youngest was conceived while on the pill, and how menopause was for her. Oh yes, good times were had by all. Then I actually initiated a hug with her. Now monumental as this was in and of its self anyone who knows me will tell you that I like my 3 ft of personal space and Lord help the person who invades it.
Following our visit it was off to the whale pool where I met my sister and her family. This time her husband went along so we were not out numbered by children. My back, due to ovulation I believe, was hurting so it felt good to be in the water. Though Sara did try to drown this time, but it was completely due to her mothers lack of a center of gravity.
Monday was back to work. It was busy, and I didn’t like it. I did get caught up on all of the work I left over the weekend. So that was good.
Tuesday was funeral home day. Me, mom 3 hours in a car together…enough said. I won’t say that we have reached mother inlaw daughter in law understanding, but at least we aren’t ignoring each others calls any longer. So I suppose progress has been made…right?
So I have answered the what, where when…but why oh why did I choose this blog for today? Like the question of how many licks it takes to reach the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop that question may never be answered….thats why.