They say as you get older the first portion of the paper that you look at is the obituaries. I find as I am rapidly approaching my mid 30’s that I am inclined to agree. Of course I don’t sit at the dining room table with a cup of coffee, but rather I check the online version. Even with the advent of electronic reading material I find that one of the first sections I check are those, the obituaries.
Sometimes its an old neighbor that I find, or an old teacher. Sometimes its just a last name that jumps out at me so I open the link to see if its someone I know. Today was just such a case. The last name is one that I recognized, so being curious to see if it was a relation to the persons I know with that last name I opened it and here is what I found:
*last names removed*
99, of Averyville Lane, Lake Placid, NY passed away Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at the Adirondack Medical Center in Saranac Lake, NY. She was born in Philadelphia, PA, August 15, 1908. Daughter of Robert and Frances. Mrs. G had worked as receptionist and secretary for Fruehauf Trailer Corp., Pittsburgh, PA for several years. She is survived by her daughter, Linda S and her husband Hugh of Lake Placid, NY. She is also survived by her extended family, Margaret S of Pittsburgh, PA, Muriel and Thomas S of Pittsburgh, PA Dylan S of Pittsburgh, PA and several nieces and nephews. There are no calling hours. Services and Burial will be held at the convenience of the family. The CLARK FUNERAL HOME, Lake Placid, NY is in charge of arrangements.
It is the portion in bold that bothers me. “…at the convenience of the family” Now I don’t know if this woman was a saint or a sinner, and frankly I don’t care. Obviously SOMEONE thought enough of her to place an obituary ad in the paper. Yet the service will be held at THEIR CONVENIENCE. This rubs me to the quick. This woman has a daughter, and has several nieces and nephews, plus “extended family” yet not one could take the time to sit in a funeral home for a few hours and let someone pay their respects. Even its just one person? Nor do they have the time to call a pastor, rabbi or priest and set up even a grave side ceremony?
Perhaps privacy is the intent, perhaps this was an intensely private woman who would have frowned upon the pomp and circumstance. So if that is the case then portray that: Viewing and Burial to be private. However to attatch your name(s) to an obituary at the end that reads “at the convinience of the family is just disgusting.
I know I am standing in judgement of this family, and that isn’t my job…but it angers me that a woman with a family who lived 99 years can be dismissed because it’s “inconvinient” I makes me selfishly wonder…how will my obituary, and those who like me are barren read? Unlike this woman we don’t leave behind a child(ren) who should be willing to be inconvinienced, who want to celebrate the passign of our life…but if I did I would sincerely hope that one lesson I would leave them with is that you reap what you sow…