If You Want Something Done Right…

I think I would have been better off drawing my own blood. 

Oh yes, one would think that being surrounded by nurses is a good thing.  They obviously had to practice, practice and practice some more to learn how to draw blood.  Heck, they even do it to real live patients a time or two before they were granted their RN’s, right?  Don’t they?  Or was that my error? Have I made a horrendous assumption? After all, as we know when you make an assumption you make and ass out of you and me. 

Anyway, the post that follows is what one would call a commedy of errors…or stupidity.  You decide. 

So H comes to my office, and I offer her gloves.  She declines them initially.  Uhm, have you ever heard for universal precautions?  Granted I know that I am not HIV, or Hep anythign positive, but that is beside the point.  You are to assume that any blood product that you come into contact with is contaminated, even if it is that or your spouse or child.  Further, I don’t know what YOU just touched, so please put the damn gloves on.  Once we begin she tells me she hates butterfly needles, as she is poking the end that goes into the vacutainer trying to figure out how to get the needle out.  “Uhm the needle is on the other end”  I tell her.  It was then that I should have ran, but I didn’t.  After all she was doing me a favor, and maybe she was nervous.  After all the bat cave, hole in the wall,  office in which I reside isn’t exactly a surgical suite or lab setting, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt…again. 

As the pressure cuff was tied around my upper arm my vein immediately sprang to attention.  “Oh thank God you have good veins”  Now I have heard this many times so I wasn’t fearful yet…I only became so after she poked me and there was still a 1/2 of the needle showing.  On a butterfly the needle goes in all the way until it reaches the two blue ends that give the needle its name  .  So as she connected the vaccu tube to the butterfly apperatus I slowly inserted the needle  further.  We then gave gravity a try, and soon I was on my way to filling 3 of the 5 vials.  At the end of the 3rd vial instead of removing the vial only,  she pulled the needle out of my arm while it was still attatched.  As blood spurted on my desk I used my free arm to grab the box of kleenex, and she is looking at me like I have two heads “Oh did I pull the needle out?” 

Moving right along…

Since there were still two vials to go we had to move on to the left arm.  I kind of chuckled when the lab tech gave me two needles yesterday.  “Just in case they miss”  She said.  Which I thought was kind of presumptuous, but boy she wasn’t kidding.  Once again with pressure bandage in place,  this vein too stood at attention.  Only this time we filled the remaining two vials without incident.  Now, in my drawer sits a bio hazard bag with 5 vials…which I hope and pray are filled enough so that I get accurate results.  I really don’t want to have to do this again!  No thank you…

But next time…when I need this done …I am so doing it myself…at least then it stands a better change of being done right the first time…

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5 responses to “If You Want Something Done Right…

  1. I would have been so upset. I only have one good arm to draw blood from, so I would have had to be stuck again in the same place. Which I hate. You’re a braver soul than I.

  2. Oh my! I think my little veins would have gone into hiding. Hope you got all that you needed 🙂

  3. At first it was funny but then I started getting a little concerned. I kept wondering if you were the first live patient this woman had ever had.

    First off my veins require a butterfly needle. Yep they go in hiding if anything else is put near it. Secondly I would have walked no scratch than ran as far and as fast as I could.

    How bruised is your arm?

  4. So If I had come into your office this morning I still would have seen blood all over the desk

    Did she donate lots of money to the school and they made her a nurse in name only. Is she a honorary nurse?

    My mouth was hanging open while reading this.

    I look at it this way. She graduated but not top of the class.

    .

  5. Holy crap!! I read your previous post first and I would like to rescend my comment. You WOULD be better off drawing your own blood!

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