Next On The DYI Network…

There are several projects that one should never attempt at home.  Just off the top of my head:

DIY bomb defusion.  Have you not seen the Grey’s Anatomy episode where the guy had the unexploded morter bomb in his chest?  Life should not imitate life here folks.

DIY Duct Tape repair of the main gas valve.  Yes, Duct Tape is the repair all but in this case not such a good idea.  “Family Of Two dies after husband repairs gas line with duct tape”  Nah, not the way to go.

DIY Vasectomy.  Right, like that will ever happen.  You even mention the big V to most men and they cower in the corner and cry, and that is offering to let a trained physician do it. 

Finally, DIY blood work.  Not a good idea folks, but in my drawer at work I have my own blood collection kit.  Lets see, I have the bio hazard bag.  I have the latex free tournequet.  I have 2 butter fly needles.  I have 7 vials, one with an anti-coagulant in the bottom and finally I have the prescritpion and the labels.  A curious collection don’t you think?

Well you see, my day started out like this.  My wonderful co-worker came to the office early so that I could walk up the hall, and through two doors to our lab so I could be poked by a professional.  I have never been more grateful to see her in my life.  My labs are all fasting ones, and there I was with a growling stomach, and a pounding head.  I figured in 20 minutes, give or take I would be devouring a bacon egg and cheese on a bagel and life would be good.  Have I mentioned Murphy and the best laid plans in the past? 

Registration was smooth as always.  However, the internal waiting room wasn’t.  There were 6 other children, and at least one parent already there.  This can never be good, and boy was that ever the case today.  Forty minutes later there were 5 of them, and 1 of me and none of us were moving.  While the levels of boiling were different we each were feeling the strain of listening to an over zealous 4 year old “Look, I put the trash can on my head”  followed up with “Garbage truck, garbage truck, garbage truck”  Over and over again until his mom told him she was going to put the truck in the real garbage if he didn’t pipe down.  It was at this point that I gave up.  I collected my prescription and bar code labels and left.

As I lamented my experience my boss, who is a former nurse says “get the vials and I will draw it for you”  Oh sure, tell me now after I have already been to the gift shop and eaten my pop tart.  Still, with idea planted I took my paper work back to the lab.  Had I waited, it would have been my turn next.  Nice.  However I asked if I could possibly get the tubes, and a needle and I would have the labs drawn in the clinic.  After several apologies, I was on my way bag in hand, and plan in place.  I was going to draw it myself.  After all, I have watched my vein be poked more times than I care to count, so I am sure I know where it is by now….but then again…the results could be as disasterous as the DIY sterilization…so maybe I will wait after all.

A nurse from another department is going to draw them first thing tomorrow morning…and yes, one of them is a P4


5 responses to “Next On The DYI Network…

  1. That is something you will not see on HGTV!

    I am glad you decided to have it professionally done because I would have been the one to discover you in your office with butterfly needle in your arm and blood all over your desk.

  2. Yikes…I would never be able to draw my own blood…stab myself and inject yes…draw no way. I hate blood, I always have to look away when I’m either giving blood or having it drawn for a test. You’re a braver soul than I.

  3. Yeah probably not a good plan to diy. Other wise, you might need the duct tape to fix yourself up and not to fix the gas line. I would end up doing something wrong and have to have the whole process repeated anyway. Good luck with all that.

  4. I would wait. 🙂

  5. Yeah, I don’t think I would recommend drawing you own blood!! I draw blood on other people all the time and I don’t think I could do my own. To be honest, I don’t think I could even poke my own finger for a blood suger!

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