Yes, This Is How My Mind Works…

I half anticipated a temperature rise today despite the fact that while I feel my ovaries,  they haven’t yet “exploded” in some grandiose way.  Instead I found another .02 degree drop.  This is good.  In fact it’s GREAT!  It means that I have copious amounts of estrogen flowing through my body, which means healthy happy egg(s).  At least I can hope.  Without benefit of regular blood draws I really in all honest have no idea if my body truly is cooperating or if it’s just messing with me.  You know what else…in real life I wouldn’t have used the word “messing” I would have used the F word, but when writing I find myself not wanting to offend anyone.  Just an odd observance, it really has no bearing on the outcome of the blog today.


To be honest I am not sure why I am so convinced that ovulation is imminent.  Yes, the rise of CM does chortle me a little bit, but what other proof is there?  I am only on cycle day 11.  The “normal woman”, yes all 3% of you out there ovulate not a day before cycle day 14.  I still have 96 hours to go.  Me, I ovulate on my own no sooner than cycle day 21.  So why am I getting my panties in a bunch over this for?  Why do I find myself so consumed with nervous energy that you would think that I was waiting to find out if I was already pregnant? 


This is so reminiscent of March.  Every moment seemed to be elongated.  I was on injections from cycle day 3 until cycle day 14 and then didn’t even ovulate until cycle day 16.  So at best, assuming that all things were equal I could still be 5 days away from ovulation, and at worst 10.  So why am I being psychotic?


I have serious issues.  I am so anxious about the next mornings BBT that I fail to sleep well at night.  I am exhausted when my head hits the pillow, but then my mind starts working. 


“Is the thermometer on the night stand?”


“Is the AC to cold? Does AC affect bbt?” 


“What if Jacob cuddles with me in the morning, will I be to warm?”


It is a wonder to me that people who don’t have our issues get pregnant at all.  Seriously here is how it happens I am sure.


“Honey wanna do it?”  Says the man while he scratches himself with one hand and changes the channel on the remote with the other.


“Really honey?  You want to make love tonight?  We have to go to work tomorrow, and I would have to take a shower when we’re done?”


“Ah come on honey, I’ll be quick”


Mind you Mrs. X has no idea what cycle day she is on, or why her middle feels like she did the twist.  Anyway, she gets up out of bed while Mr. X happily snores way, remote control in hand.  She goes and takes a HOT shower.   Decides she now can’t sleep so she goes down stairs, and drinks a mountain dew while noshing on some left over sushi.  Three or four weeks later she wakes up, with big boobs, which get Mr. X all hot and bothered again, only this time she doesn’t put out because she has to hurl at which point she realizes OOPS…she’s late.


Yeah…I wish that were me.  Instead, for the next 4-10 days I will be shoving a thermometer in my mouth promptly at 6 just to see if rather than a downward curve I have the .05 shift north indicating, that alas…my ovaries do work, and that the question of the day shall be “Which came first?  The seman or the egg?”


6 responses to “Yes, This Is How My Mind Works…

  1. The remote in hand is too funny.

  2. We’re so obsessive about it because we know all too well what happens when our bodies don’t cooperate. Today is CD13 for me and I’ve had nothing…NADA…zip…zero. No twinges, no EWCM…I don’t temp anymore though.

  3. Even before I knew what I was doing with perfect timed routines, I found that it didn’t happen that way, so I must not be normal. I love that scenario though. well no matter what, good cluck catching the eggie. I guess that means you just have “practice” a little more often over the next few days.

  4. I have wondered so many times, “How DO people get pregnant at all?!?! It seems so complicated!!!!”

    I resent the fact I have to track my cycles so carefully to optimize my chances yet one of my good friends does all she can to NOT get pregnant. Somehow, her eggs and her husband’s sperm just can’t stay away from each other. It is mind boggling.

    We’re in the same boat, sister.

    Good luck!

  5. You forgot about the part where she uses a little bit of Meth to keep her weight down and she does it on-top, but yes, STILL gets pg… 🙂

  6. Cassie (DS Friend)

    I love reading your blogs. They are so honest and what I think we are all thinking. You capture our torture in a funny but realistic way.

    Wishing you all the luck this cycle:)

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