We completely skipped Mother’s Day. I didn’t even call my own mother. I just didn’t feel like I could possibly handle hearing or saying the words “Happy Mother’s Day” After all, I certainly wasn’t happy. Actually it was the hardest day I have had so far since loosing our baby. For the first time since they told me he wasn’t going ot make it did I let the tears fall when and where they may. As a result, I hid in the house all day. I didn’t go near the phone, and I certainly didn’t encourage company.
What I did however do was encourage Jacob to at least go and see his mother, but he refused. After I explained to him SPECIFICALLY why I was giving his mother a “time out” if you will, he understood. No one wants to think the worst of your parents, or siblings. This is expecially true when they treat your spouse poorly. So when I explained to Jacob, that I really felt used by his mother and that I wasn’t going to put myself in that position again he agreed. Now, don’t think I stomped my feet and said “if you go over I won’t give you any love and affection” No, instead I encouraged him to go. I even encouraged him to at least call. He still refused.
So as Sunday turned to Monday I just waited to hear that familiar “ding” alerting me that I had an internal email. It never came. Yesteday that is, it never came. Today there it was….email from my mother in law. Only instead of actual conversation…she sends me a forward. Once again, I was going to respond, but I quickly hit delete. This is what happens. She gives me a morsel, I eat it up, and then out of the nowhere the metal bar comes crashing down and the mouse is caught in the trap…only this time…I was smart…I got the cheese and managed to get away.
We will see them again I know. We are supposed to go to the baseball game with them on our wedding anniversary in July…but I know it will be long before then. One of us is going to flinch, and in the interest of family harmony…it will be me. After all, she hasn’t spoken to Jacob’s grandmother–her mother in over 16 years.