Here We Go…Again…

14 days after it started, and 4 days after it seemingly stopped I am freaking bleeding again.  Not a period like flow, but rather that bright red swatch on the TP after I go to the bathroom.  I am beyond annoyed.  I would have rather my period have come than me to have gotten pregnant if I knew that this was going to be the freaking never ending miscarriage.  To be honest I never want to get pregnant again if this is how its going to end.  This is one point I need to make firmly clear when I interview OB’s if I do ever get pregnant again–they MUST AGREE to do an immediate D&C should the pregnancy be non viable.  None of this “do it naturally” bull shit.  I understand the reasoning…less uterine trauma, less chance of scaring…but really how many women have multiple terminations…obviously their fertility was retained.  This however is freaking barbaric.  Especially when the offices answer is “you need to be patient and wait it out”

I do believe its a hormonal issue as opposed to a retained tissue issue.  My progesterone had finally dropped to 3.8 on Thursday, and if it continued to fall over the weekend it very likely threw my body into hormonal upheaval.  I more firmly believe this because EVERYTHING is on my nerves today.  It is remenisent of PMS to be honest.  The girls up the hall are talking, not bothing anyone but its annoying me.  Just hearing their voices makes me want to crawl out of my skin.  If Jacob weren’t home “dying” from the cold that I so graciously shared with him I would have likely done the same myself.  Called into work, pulled the covers over my head and called it a week before it even began.

I swear…I am never going to be intimate with my husband again…and the bathroom pail is constantly going to be full of garbage…but I am going to get rich because I am finally going to buy stock in Procter and Gamble…anyone want to be my surrogate when I get enough money to pay someone else to go through fertility hell?


UPDATE:  So I decided to call the office…just to put my mind to ease.  I told Christy the bleeding had started again.  She actually seemed almost concerned.  She said that w/my level still being 48 that I still have “stuff to get rid of”  Oh goodie for me.  So apparently until I expell everything…uhm…what?  There is more?  Then and only then will I drop to 0…I think seriously I may cry.  She did say that if there was a problem that they will address it on Friday when they get my results.  I HOPE that since I expelled even more tissue oh gee, I want to say Friday maybe???  That perhaps I am dropping.  Oh please…please…please…yeah right…who is listening?


2 responses to “Here We Go…Again…

  1. I am sorry this has become the experience from hell. Maybe the other numbers will drop the way the progesterone is dropping too. At this point we can only hope. Sending hugs your way as you (continue) to go through this.

  2. If no one else is… I am listening. 😉

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