I have come to the conclusion that I am never going to be able to wear just my underwear again. Nope, I will forever have an Always in it. Let us see…I started wearing one for “just in case” at the beginning of April given that my cycle was unpredictable even while on meds. Then I had to continue to wear something because of the increased cervical mucus once I got pregnant. Then following the spotting incident I never stopped. So basically for over a month now I have been wearing something in my under-roos and it’s starting to piss me off.
Seriously, I don’t think I am ever going to stop bleeding. Worse, I hear stories from women who tell me that theirs lasted a freaking month. How is that cool? Of course my body likes to mess with me too. Take today for example. I go to the ladies room and there is NOTHING on the pad. Of course I knew not to get excited because as soon as I wiped there was a swath of red. This is never going to end.
I am never happy. Once I knew we were doomed I couldn’t wait to start bleeding. Now that I am I can’t wait to stop. Of course I still have the bleeding following the drop to 0 too look forward too. Which knowing my luck will prevent dispensation of the ring…you know my precious. For those of you who don’t have husband’s who think they are a hobbit that is a Lord of the Rings reference, and yes I promise never to reference it again.
The later causes further amusement. The mother in law wants to have nothing to do with me now that I told her we will NOT be trying to conceive, and now that I am not pregnant. How do I know this? Well remember the request to be included in everything? Yes, well I took it at face value…and have shared everything. God forbid I keep mortar on the wall of bricks. I get a response back “I don’t have the time to read these emails, please relay information through Jacob” Well good luck with that seeing as Jacob doesn’t like to be mired down in details, but thanks for proving my point. Oh yes, I feel a little like Jamie Buchman (Mad About You)…even when her sister in law came out of the closet and moved in with her girl friend poor Jamie couldn’t move up the totem. Yet when Jamie gets preggers, well then everyone wanted to be her friend.
Life is nothing if not consistent…even for me…