Further Annoyance…

I called the doctors office today.  I am going up for blood work after work.  I refused to miss another minute here at work because of this.  So I called to see if I should bring the remains with me.  The gal who does my blood work (not Mia Farro, but the other one) was put on the phone.  I guess there was no “real” nurse there…then again it was she who did my post coital…so hey what ever.  Again I repeated that I finally had my miscarriage last evening, and that I wondered if I should bring the remains.

She didn’t even address this at first.  Instead she said “your coming for blood work?”  Yes, that is what I said.  “Well when?”  Well I get out of work at 4:30…so probably round 5:15 maybe 5:30 at the latest.  “well we close at 6, so we won’t even run the blood work till tomorrow”  Ok, I really don’t care at this point.  The numbers will be dropping.  I wouldn’t be surprised if today they are as close to 0 as they can get.  Now back to my original question…which she finally answers:

Well the remains would need to be intact.  Not shredded.  Uhm, OK this was a natural miscarriage the remains wouldn’t be shredded.  Plus I know that is BULL SHIT because they do testing on babies who are taken through D&C, and D&E.  So her rebuttal was:  Well the remains would need to be stored in a sterile container in saline solution.  So basically the answer is NO.  Which is fine…but I never asked, and no one ever told me.

So what do I do with them?  I don’t want to simply throw them away.  Jake thinks its  odd to want to bury him.  So I was thinking along the lines of the stepping stone.  Maybe I could go to a hardware store and get a “brick” mold, and some concrete and bury the remains in that.  Then decorate the outside of the brick in some way?  Or is that even crazier?  I don’t want to be “that woman” who can’t let go…but I don’t want to have the memory of dropping the ziplock baggie into the refuse can either.

As an aside, I am going to sever ties with this physicians office after I confirm that my levels have dropped to normal.  He may be the last RE in the area, but he is not the last gynecologist, and since I have 9 months until my next pap is due, I have plenty of time to shop around.  Which I plan to do this time instead of playing enie meanie minie moe with my health care.

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4 responses to “Further Annoyance…

  1. I can fully understand wanting to sever all ties with this doctor’s office. They have not fully been sympathetic everytime they have talked with you in the last couple of weeks.

    First of all, like you said, it seems to be a lot of tissue for a tubal. Second of all, it isn’t like they ever did an ultrasound to confirm where it was or what was going on. Can you imagine how long you would have had to wait had it not been on your insistence to get the shot. They told you to come in and get blood drawn and yet they don’t seem to realize this. They were the ones who said they would want to keep a close eye on this.

    I am so sorry they will not do any testing for you. That is a shame.

    I would feel very terrible about just dropping my ziploc bag in the trash also. There is something about physically throwing your baby in the trash that doesn’t sit well. I would imagine that would be a terrible memory to have to hold on to. I am not sure what the right answer if any to do with it though. I don’t know about the logistics of putting tissue in a stone mold so I can’t tell you if this is a good idea or not. I am sorry I don’t have any answers.

    I hope your appointment goes well.

  2. Fam – I’m so sorry for all you’re going through. I think the “stepping stone” idea is a great one. It will be your remembrance of the little life that was with you, even for a short period of time.

    I can’t seem to find your email address.

  3. I think the stepping stone idea is a great one. When I had my m/c after the IUI, I didn;t know what to do either. I felt bad about throwing it away, and I couldn’t bury it because i knew we were going to move because we were renting, ok, here is the scary part… I kept it in the fridge for over a year until we got to Texas. So, anything you can suggest will not be as crazy as that. 🙂 I agree that you should get another dr’s office. The previous poster was right. You don’t get a lot of tissue when it was a tubal.

  4. What a perfectly awful way to answer your question. What an idiot. I’m so sorry. I think your stepping stone’s a great idea. We buried our little one under a hydrangea bush that we hadn’t gotten around to planting yet. Sort of creepy how that worked out, I guess. There wasn’t really any question about what to do with him – we had to use donor eggs and nothing left over to freeze. Not like the same gene combo was going to happen again. They just had to draw some blood on my boy to see if there are any anomalies….

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