I am most looking forward to Friday. On Friday I will fax over my first week of insulin induced numbers to my endocrinologist. In case there is any doubt, I am so very much not amused for like the Metformin its not working, and its pissing me off.
The ring finger on my right hand looks like it has been moon lighting as a seamstress’ pin cushion. Which I suppose isn’t far from the truth. The shots aren’t bad at all. The needles are super tiny. They are about half the length of a Follistim needle, but about the same diameter. Very tiny. They only hurt if I fail to “pinch an inch” but that is more from the jab than the medication its self.
What is unamusing is the fact that my doseage doesn’t appear to be doing anything. The endocrinologist was worried about me bottoming out, but you can’t bottom out when you are still waking up with levels above freaking 100, and post prandial levels of 202.
I guess I had different expectations for this science experiment. I suspected that 3 units before bed, and after meals was a “placebo” doseage and that it works for some, but it isn’t for me. In talking to my sister, and to another who was on insulin their levels were much higher and much more controlled. But, just like Follistim, or HCG, or any other injectables it trial and error…but I am renaming it insolence because only my body could be this uncooperative, and unpredictable.
Categories: Doctor Doctor · INJECTABLES
I happened to glance at Aaron’s ticker on my Mys pace page the other day. It had been exactly 9 months since we said good bye. 9 month, to the day. He has now been gone for the exact amount of time that I should have held him under my heart.
9 months in the span of a lifetime is nothing. Yet 9 months to create a life seems like forever.
So much has changed in 9 months. I almost lost Aaron’s daddy. If I had lost him, I would have lost him in the same month in which we lost our final baby. My heart still pounds when I think about that month. I can still relive each of those days and nights as if they were yesterday. Only this time its as if I am watching some one else play the parts of my life that were so terror filled. As the images flicker on the movie screen of my memory the pain isn’t nearly as severe. The images not quite so opaque.
Time heals all wounds, and in this case its true…and all it took was a little over 9 months to realize that I was already there.
Categories: Miscarriage · TTC AFTER LOSS · Trying...Again
January 18, 2009 · Enter your password to view comments
Categories: Crafting and such... · Ramble On...Ramble On...
January 17, 2009 · Enter your password to view comments
Categories: Crafting and such...
My phone rang at 8:50 this morning. Looking at the caller ID I reckoned that it was my sister based on the name and phone number. As I said hello a tiny voice on the other end stated “Aunt Susan I lost my tooth” Sara was positively giddy as she recounted that she is now a big girl.
Her only concern is that she will be spending the night, and she wondered if the tooth fairy would come. I assured her that she certainly would.
Tonight I step into the roll of parent, of tooth fairy, of the one who will creep into the room of a sleeping child. It will be I, not her mom who pulls the tooth out from under her pillow and replaces it with a green bill. Tomorrow morning she will wake up and discover the prize and she will run into my room with great anticipation to show me what she “won” It will be I who gets to fein surprise when I am shown the treasure that was left by a mythical creature.
I am sure that I am romantasizing the event, but for one brief moment I get to experience a first that a parent would. Of course I still hope for the day when I hear “Mommy lost my tooth” in the mean time I will cherish hearing “Aunt Susan, look what the tooth fairy brought me” Even if its a one time event…
Categories: Ramble On...Ramble On...
