Wrapping It Up…

Tonight I began the task of wrapping the gifts that have been purchased over the last two days.  Among them are a new Barbie in a Pink Bug for Sara, a Fisher Price town for Timothy, and a Hot Wheels Play set for Tyler.  Each wrapped under white paper with colorful Christmas candies printed on it.

As I wrapped I thought of the gifts still left to buy.  Jacob and I had agreed that Christmas wasn’t going to be that special this year so we would skip it.  My sister commented how this year will be the hardest.  I said that the 15th of December, like October the 1st, and even April 8th will always be hard.  Its simply unfortunate that Christmas falls in December.  Despite all of this I felt the need to participate in the obligatory gift exchanges amongst the family, and among Jacob and myself.  So far he is the proud owner to be of some Joe Boxer lounge pants and not much more.  Certainly we are not off to an auspicious beginning by any stretch.

It was not however the contents of the paper that gave me pause, but rather the gift tags.  As I penned the name of each recipient underneath I wrote the words Aunt Susan, and Uncle Jacob repetitively.  I wondered silently will I ever be able to write the name of a child and under it put Love Mommy and Daddy on the from line.  Will it ever be our child who jumps into our bed on Christmas Day and tells us that Santa had come the night before?  Will it ever be our child who opens up a new Barbie and shrieks because it was the one they have “always” wanted?  Will it ever be our child who asks his daddy to take him outside in the snow so that he can ride his new sled?  Will it ever be us who stand in line on Black Friday at 4 a.m. because the only gift our child wants is the one that every other child on the continent wants as well?  Or will we forever simply be Aunt Susan and Uncle Jacob?

I know, there is still much to do before the day and I shouldn’t over think it, but I can’t help but do just that…The cycle I haven’t been talking about will be over well before Christmas arrives, though I have decided not to even contemplate testing until Christmas Eve if there is a need.  I wonder will I be wrapping up the stick that says we are 6 weeks pregnant that night and handing to Jacob the next day?  Or instead will we be trudging on that same night to my parents house to watch the little ones open their gifts with hardened hearts?  Or should I look upon that holiday as I have each other day since May 1st…as being one day closer to wrapping up the year that was hell?

One Down…

The first of the holiday season holidays is under our belt and we survived.  I was quite amused watching the sister in laws falling over themselves so that they wouldn’t inadvertently say the word baby.  See, one of the family traditions that I am less than fond of is that my sister in laws animals accompany them EVERYWHERE.  So they were part of Thanksgiving.  Of course as we with fur children know you often refer to yourself as Mommy, Daddy or the animal as your baby.  Yet any time that term almost came up they would stutter over it and change baby to “kid”, “child” or any other term that just so that they could avoid the B word.  You know, because just hearing the word baby may throw me into a fit of hysterics.  You know because no one else in the world where I travel has them ya know…

The food was per the norm interesting.  I mean really, who puts ground beef in their stuffing?  I will say my MIL trumps anyone for breakfast.  she just nails that, but dinners leave more than something to be desired.   The turkey was luke warm, the potatoes cold, and the buns burned.  Though my favorite moments were when she refused to sit down and eat with us.  I am all for being served at a restraunt, but at your families house you expect them to join you, not wait on you.  Needless to say we were there for a total of 3 hours before we along with my youngest sister in law took our leave.  How much longer till Christmas???

Sara arrived a couple of hours later and so began our jaunt.  Christmas shopping for the children is all but complete.  I need one more gift card for my nephew who wants U.nder A.rmour and then I am done.  In reality I didn’t NEED to shop on Black Friday, but it is our tradition.  Since she was 4 months old we have spent Thanksgiving night together, and then shop the next day.  Of course with her getting older and Jacob not following the bouncing Eat N Park cookie makes it impossible to sneak her gift into the cart without a break down.

See, she is very into the Barbie scene and Wal-Mart had the VW Bug with Barbie and a picnic basket for $10.  At first I thought we were SOL, but as we approached the check outs we found them.  Pink, Yellow, and Blue Bugs sat on a pallet.  Of course Sara saw them just as I did.  “Jake, take Sara ANYWHERE but here”  I told him as I motioned towards the pile.  “Where do you want me to take her?”  He asks as she begins to throw a fit to end all fits “AAAUUUNNNNTTT SSSSUUUUSSSSAAAANNNN  I want that NOW!!!”  Crisis adverted when Uncle Jake took her for a pretzel.  Until that is she realized one was among our purchases and thought she was getting it NOW.  I had to break her heart and tell her that it was for another little girl which of course started a 20 minute crying jag that almost made me give her the darn thing today…until I promised her a game at Game Stop which was where we were heading next.

My hope is that by Christmas she has forgotten that she wanted the pink VW Bug with Barbie in it…but if she hasn’t then this will be the last year for our tradition because I am getting way to old for this.

So, how was the kick of to your holiday season?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know this is a day early, but with everyone coming and going on Thursday I doubted anyone would see it.  Unless of course you are like me and really DONT want to spend the day at the in-laws then you might be sitting at home reading my blog!

Despite our troubles this year both Jacob and I have much to be thankful for.  I know that often times the blog is full of rants and raves, but all in all our life is full and there is plenty to enjoy.  How about you?  What are you thankful for today?  Are you thankful that you had the energy just to get out of bed?  Are you thankful that gas prices have dropped?  Are you thankful that you survived yet another BFN, miscarriage, or pregnancy announcement?  There is plenty to be grateful for and to give thanks for.

Me, I know this will sound hokey, but I am very thankful for my friends.  I don’t have gaggles of friends in real life, but those I do have I have because I want them and they each are very special to me.

I am thankful for Jacob’s and my jobs.  Again something I complain about but at the end of the pay period I am grateful to have it.

I am thankful that we have a few more opportunities to try to conceive our child(ren).

I am thankful that I have survived another day, and hope that I left my mark somewhere and that the mark was a positive one.
Happy Thanksgiving all–Now go eat turkey and pumpkin pie with those you love…or toloerate…or simply can’t murder because its illegal and is also one of the 10 commandments…

Why So Quiet?

My co-worker told me I needed to update my blog.  Not because she is particularly interested in my life but rather because I harrass her about updating hers.  Still, she is correct one can’t expect people to check google reader forever if the authors they don’t read don’t update.  Even worse, I read blogs based on comments so if there is no update, and thus no comments I don’t go check your blog.  Its a symbiotic if not chaotic relationship but there it is none the less.

So what is going on with me?  Well we are 100% moved in.  I have thus far been able to dodge Mrs. Johnson’s repeated attempts to meet me.  She just doesn’t understand that I don’t like to socialize with my neighbors.  Its nothing personal, I am just very choosy about whom I allow into my inner sanctum.  I am in no way as bad as my MIL who doesn’t speak to anyone, but I am a far way from my mother who knows EVERYONE on her street, and will bake them cookies at the holiday.  That just isn’t my personality.  Perhaps it is my generation though.

As I mentioned before I hatched an egg sometime between October and November which really threw off our plans for conception in December.  My cycle should have just started yesterday instead of just ending on Sunday.  So that proved interesting as I had to replan our covert operations, and will make Thanksgiving exceptionally interesting since there will be 3 injections that day instead of my regular 2.  One of which can be done at home in the a.m., but the other two need to be done in the evening.  So come home a little early right?  Well that would be ideal but as tradition goes Sara comes to spend the night so that we can spend Black Friday together.  Erica is dropping her off at 7.  So much for the down lo huh?

So thats about it.  We are just a family of two living a life that isn’t envied by anyone…unless of course you own your own version of the money pit and want to get out.  If that is the case you may envy us a little bit…and yes I know I promised photos…if I am not completely warn out by the time I get home tonight perhaps I will snap a few for you.  Just keep in mind I don’t have drapes yet–yes I have window coverings, but I want to add some color w/some drapes.

A Real Award…

I feel like the dad in a Christmas Story.  “A real award…”  Only mine isn’t a leg lamp marked FRAGILE on it.  No this one originated from a highly creative mind, and was bestowed to me by an equally creative blogger. Jamie.  Please click on the highly creative mind link to read the full story behind this award, and remember we are not alone!

Like Jamie I will post my favorite points of this award:

If you talk in TTC acronyms nobody except people on the internet understand

If you have ever been stuck with any needles in order to achieve pregnancy

If you know what a cootercam is

If you have ever gotten shower invites, family photos, or birth announcements in the mail and had a good cry

If you have ever heard “just relax” or “it’s not your time” or “it’s God’s will”

If you have ever walked around the store in order to avoid the baby/toddler section

If you’ve ever had to go IN the baby/toddler section of a store in order to buy something for someone else’s baby

If you’ve ever yelled out during watching a movie or tv show about someone who’s trying for a baby, “That’s SO not realistic!”

If you have ever felt panic when seeing a pregnant lady

If you meet the criteria above, or you’d like to submit your own, please post the following award on your blog. This is for all of the women who will no longer be silent about their infertility. This is to remind you that you need not be ashamed and you are definately not alone. This is to remind you to speak up the next time someone gives you fertility assvice.Rules for posting award:

1. Link back to this post so that others will read the original story behind the award
2. Nominate 4 others who have not been “silent about their infertility”
3. Enjoy speaking out and speaking up

Oh boy who to nominate…there are so many…Well you guys know who you are.  Nominate yourselves will ya…I have a boss to go annoy.